Do You Hate Your Job?

How would you like to earn money from doing something you love? If you love your job then that is great news.  However, if you dread getting up every morning and long for the weekends then it’s time you did something about it.

So many are in shit jobs just to pay the bills, consider how many hours you are spending doing something that does not satisfy your needs.  Imagine instead spending those hours doing something you love, something you are passionate about, wouldn’t life be great?

What did you love to do when you were a kid? For instance, my daughter loved photography as young as five, hard to believe but I actually have a photo of her at the age of five taking a photo.  I remember years ago telling her that she was a talented photographer and her reply back then was “the camera does the work I just click the button”.  She did however come to realise that this was her passion and now earns a living from photography, she doesn’t earn a fortune but enough, the big thing is SHE LOVES HER JOB.  It isn’t about making a fortune or being famous, it’s about being satisfied.

I had another client who was a factory worker but loved fitness, he now runs his own gym classes and of course is very happy.

I always ask my clients what their talents are and most say they don’t have any, until we start digging a little deeper and then they always pop up, here are just a few, Music, Painting, Writing, Sport, Fitness, Creating Gift Cards, Dancing ….. the list goes on.

Simply by bringing these passions into your life may make your shit job not so shitty after all.  As I said its about being satisfied and by realising your true passions you will come alive.  You will feel invigorated and motivated to make the dream even bigger and who knows you could end up making a living from it.

Don’t get stuck on the grid working 9 to 5 unless you love what you are doing.

It is never to late, its not that hard, it is there inside you, don’t wait any longer.

Make a list right now of your passions, then consider ways  you can bring these into your life right now, without quitting your job.  You CAN make the time, all you need is the desire.

Don’t sit back and plod along, look within, realise your true purpose and GO FOR IT.

You can do this !

MAKE 2019 YOUR YEAR TO SHINE

The start of a new year is a good time to look deeper, to examine your life and see what needs to change.  This is why we tend to make  New Years Resolutions, which often we don’t keep to.  This is probably due to them being a ‘should’ rather than a ‘Want’.

The ‘should’ is what you feel is expected of you rather than what is important TO YOU.

When we hear from others what we  ‘should do’…. this then keeps nagging at us and we can then start to feel discontent. It is not about anyone else it is about YOU.  Only YOU know what is right for you, it does not matter what anyone else thinks, listen to your higher self and follow your instinct.

  • Are you happy in your job?
  • Are you happy in your relationship?
  • Are you happy where you live?
  • Are you happy with your weight/fitness?
  • Are you following your passions?

 

Once you start to look at all these areas you will become more in touch with what changes, if any, that you need to make.  These may not be life changing, they may just put you more in control of your life and reaching your dreams.

It is very easy to slip into a mundane existence and just plod along.  Making small changes in all areas of the above could improve every area.  It may be that you do need to make big changes, only you will know.

If this is the case, look at what is stopping you from making these changes.

  • Is it fear of stepping outside of your comfort zone?
  • Is it fear of the unknown?
  • Is it fear of failure?

Don’t let fear hold you back.  It is better to regret doing something than to regret not doing something.

It may be that you are in a place due to others’ needs rather than by choice?  Most of us are trapped in prisons of our own making caring too much about everything that does not really matter. You have one life so make sure you live it rather than just exist through it.

The only constant in life is CHANGE.  You can’t see into the future so don’t assume you can, don’t let “What ifs” prevent you from taking back control.  Only YOU know what is right for YOU, look within, if it feels right just GO FOR IT!

Warmest wishes

Vicki

WWW.Vickifrench.com

Vicki@Vickifrench.com

Letting go will give you the Freedom you Deserve!

Can you remember a time when someone’s words or actions ruined your day or even your week?  We have all had those moments when we got frustrated or angered by what someone said or did or annoyed because we didn’t get our anticipated response or  were let down.   Feeling offended will cause you to react in such a way that will make matters even worse.

The truth is whatever anyone says or does is out of your control, do you really want to waste your valuable time and energy on what is out of your control?   Instead of blaming the way you feel on others’ imagine being impervious to other people’s disdainful words or actions.  It is possible, and it doesn’t mean that you will be submissive or avoiding confrontation; it means that you retain your power and remain in control.

The first step is to not react.  The next time you find yourself annoyed or angry, stop and take a moment.  Assess why you feel this way, if it is yourself you are annoyed with then decide what action you need to take to improve the situation.  This puts you back in control.   If it is something that is out of your control then you have the choice to either ‘let it in’ or to ‘let it go’. If you react you have let it in and it is now your problem, however if you respond and let it go, you retain your power, your state of mind is calm you are back in control.  You will find this very empowering.

The second step is to disassociate.  Be the observer; see the event for what it is.  This will give you clarity and will prevent your thoughts from running wild.  It is important here to be aware that your thoughts on the situation are simply your interpretation; they are simply your own story, your point of view.  Your internal representations will be biased and will influence your feelings and behavior.  Just by taking the time to view the situation and your own thoughts on the situation, will allow the intensity of your feelings to lessen and for you to be more detached.

The third step is acceptance. Accept that what anyone says or does is out of your control; accept that you have the choice to remain in control.  Accept that there is nothing to gain by letting it in other than a negative state of mind. Seeing the bigger picture and being the bigger person will allow you to accept it for what it is and not to succumb to it.

The final step is letting go. Now you are in a calm state of acceptance, you can simply make a conscious decision to ‘let it go’.  Take three deep breathes and let it go.  Now you are back in control, that person or thing no longer has power over you.  You will feel calm and in control, notice how good it is to hold on to your power.

Remember the only thing you have total control over in this life is YOU,  by holding on to hurt, pain or anger caused by something out of your control means you are giving away your power.     Whatever it was is now in the past, don’t keep it alive in your head.

Start to practice this in your everyday life then when something big comes along you will be well versed in how to handle it.
 

Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Countless people have grown up to believe that they are ‘not good enough’ this stays with them for years and years and affects their self-esteem and confidence through adulthood.

You were not born feeling ‘not good enough’, you have learned this along the way.  It is all because of what you heard as a child from friends, siblings, teachers and even parents.  What you heard is stored at an unconscious level and cultivates your adult behaviour.

Believing ‘you are not good enough’ can lead to anxiety, depression, social disorder etc.  These are all labels that define a certain behaviour, however they are not the cause of the problem they are the symptom of you feeling ‘not good enough’.

Do you hear yourself telling you, I don’t fit in, nobody likes me, I am different, I will never be as good as her/him, I can’t do this, he/she is better than me in every way, No one is ever going to love me, I am not good looking, I will never be slim, I am different, I will never have what I want.  Do you constantly repeat, “I lack confidence, I have low Self-Esteem”

The  root cause of your issue is self belief, no pill will solve it, no one else can solve it, only you can solve it.

You may think that sounds crazy, but trust me it is true.

You are listening to everything you say about you, your unconscious mind hears what you say and believes it to be what you want.

It all starts from within, you are not broken and therefore you do not need fixing.

Once you start to notice your self-talk and your self-language you will soon come to realise that you are self-sabotaging.

Becoming aware of your self-sabotaging thoughts and language will allow you to realise the damage you are creating, you can then replace with Self-Praising thoughts and Language that will allow you to discover the true you.

Start telling yourself a different story, tell yourself every day, “I am good enough” say it every time you look in the mirror, make a list of all of your skills and qualities, yes you do have them!

Don’t look external for approval, look within, if you love you, respect you, believe in you then you can turn your life around.

Tell yourself every day, I am confident, I love me, I am good enough, and I can achieve whatever I want. Repeat over and over, every time you hear a negative thought, stop and replace it with a positive.

Believe in you and everyone else will believe in you too.

We are all special and unique, don’t ever compare yourself to anyone, it is ok to admire someone and learn from them, but don’t compare yourself because you are special just the way you are.  Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror.

Your unconscious mind is listening and you will very soon see a difference in your whole persona, you will feel good about you, you will have self-belief, your self-esteem will rise and your confidence will hit the ceiling.  You can do this, it takes practice but it does not take long.

All the negative beliefs you have about you are simply someone else’s words from the past, it is not who you are, it is not who you were born to be.

YOU ARE SPECIAL AND UNIQUE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop THINKING and start DOING !

Are you stuck?  If you are not happy with your life then stop Thinking and start Doing! Only you are in control of you,  No one can make you feel anything unless you allow it, no one can make you do something unless you allow it. The only person responsible for keeping you stuck is you. 
So often people stay in a place where their needs and wants are not being met, yet they remain there and constantly complain and moan about how miserable they are. This could be due to your job, your relationship or even where you live.  To improve a situation, you can only change the things that you are in control of, and sometimes that may mean that you simply have to walk away!
OVERTHINKING When you have reached this moment, when you know that it is time to move on, what can happen is that you keep putting it off.  You keep telling yourself that maybe things will change, maybe all will be better next week, next month and so on.   Sometimes we just don’t want to face it, because it is too big, taking action is far too scary so we keep pushing it away and not addressing it.  This is fear keeping you stuck, fear of the unknown will prevent you from taking action.  You may suddenly realise that months have passed and nothing has changed.  You know what you need to do but all the ‘what if’s’ keep you from moving on.   You will begin to overthink everything and wonder how life will be on the other side, you worry if you will cope and manage outside of your safe but insufferable bubble.  You will play out all sorts of scenarios in your head, of all the worst things that can happen.  The truth is that you can never know the future so don’t try and invent one, don’t waste your valuable energy focusing on what may be.   You only need to ask and answer one question and that is the one you know the answer to……What will happen if I stay?
LOOK WITHIN You have all the answers inside; no one else can decide for you.  There are many times in life when making a decision is so tough that you reach out to others for the answer.  It is fine to get advice and to use friends and family as a sounding board, but only you know how you feel deep inside no one else can make that final decision for you.  Here is an exercise that will help you to get in touch with your higher self.  Take some time alone to be quiet and in the moment, clear you mind, concentrate on your breathing for about forty seconds.  Once your mind is clear and you are calm and relaxed, place both hands on the centre of your chest, your heart chakra.  Now ask the question.  You are now looking to your higher self, this is your truth, and this is where all your answers reside. When you quieten the mind you are present and in the now.  You are not concerned about the past and you are not fearful of the future.  Taking necessary action should be taken in a calm state, not an angry stressed state.  When you are calm and in control and look within, you are then at peace with your higher self.  This will allow clarity and focus and give you strength to take action.
MOVING ON Once you have looked within and have made the right decision for you, you will feel a deep sense of relief, you will know without a doubt that this is the right thing to do.  You will feel a little fear, but it is more excitement because you know you are about to become free of all that has kept you stuck.  Whenever a doubt crosses your mind, go back to this feeling, and remind yourself how good it feels. 
Here is a visualisation exercise to help keep you on track. Take some quiet time and clear your mind as above.  Now picture yourself on the other side, having taken action.  Make the picture panoramic, see everything in bright full colour, feel how great it is to be free, hear all the sounds around you.  When the image is at its most vibrant gently squeeze your earlobe and hold it there until the image starts to dim, now let go of your chosen earlobe and open your eyes.  This is your Anchor, now whenever you get doubts or fears, simply squeeze your anchor to bring this visualisation back into your mind, breathe and tell yourself “I can do this”.
It is normal to first feel elated and then to question yourself.  However just remember that the initial elation and relief you felt was because you knew you had done the right thing. Don’t ever loose site of that. When you have those moments of doubt, go back to that initial state of elation and freedom and embrace it, hold on to it, because that was you being in the moment, you being in the now and  the now is all that matters. 
There will be days when you look back and that is ok but don’t sit and dwell on the past.  Remember the past is done; you can’t change it, so let go and move on.  Concentrate on the future and all that you want, forget about what you don’t want.
Life is for living, not for being stuck, if you are not happy, don’t blame and point the finger, if you are not happy, take action and move on, you owe it to yourself.  
You can create Anchors every time you find yourself in a good head space, for instance when you find yourself feeling very happy, or full of confidence, just simply use a knuckle, or an elbow to Anchor this state.  Then, whenever you need to bring that state of mind into being you just squeeze your Anchor.
 
One day very soon, you will sit back and wonder why you stayed stuck for so long!
vicki@vickifrench.com http://www.vickfrench.com

Do you feel you just dont ‘fit in?

So often through my coaching I hear people claim that they struggle to ‘fit in’.

I also felt this way many years ago, so I understand this from experience.  Having studied Coaching and NLP, I now understand this in more depth and I thought I would share it with you.

Think about what ‘fitting in’ means to you.  What is it that you feel is missing? How do you know you don’t fit it? How would you know if you did fit in? What would be different? How would you feel?  What would you hear? What would you see?

The truth is, there is nowhere for you to ‘fit in’.  There is no key that unlocks that special place for you.  You are searching for something you will never find because there is no such place.

You see ‘not fitting in’, is something that you have created in your own mind, just as I did many years ago.  I didn’t believe I fitted in at school, at work, in later years when I had children, I didn’t feel I fitted in with other Mums at the schools.   When the befriended me and invited me out with them, I didn’t get why they wanted to be friends with me because in my head, I just didn’t fit in.

So there lies the key, it was all in my head!  No one else thought I didn’t fit in, they liked me, they included me, in fact I didn’t really have any enemies, most people generally ‘liked me’.  It was simply a belief, just as it is for you.

We are all unique, special, beings, we all have different needs, qualities, desires, talents, preferences and dreams, and so on and on.  So why do some of us have this misbelief that we do not ‘fit in’, where did it come from.

In NLP there is a period between the ages of one to seven which we refer to as the imprint age.  This is the period in life that we just absorb everything, we are like a sponge, we take in all that we hear, feel, smell, taste and it is embedded in our unconscious mind.  In later years this transmits into our behaviour  and beliefs. So somewhere way back in your child hood, you learned to believe that you ‘don’t fit in’, just as I did.

I remember when I was six years old, my mother insisted I had my hair cut short.  I didn’t want it cut, I hated it so much that I dreaded going to school the next day.  As you can probably imagine, I was laughed at and told I looked like a boy, amongst many other comments.  Even the Teacher made a joke at my expense, when calling my name from the register, I raised my hand, she said “you’re not Vicki, where is she”.  The whole class was looking at me and laughing aloud and I just wanted to run, run as far away from that school as I could.  But of course I couldn’t, I had to stay, and put up with the finger pointing and laughing all day and even the next day.  So that was where I decided that ‘I didn’t fit in’.  Of course, I had forgotten all about this until it came to the surface during practice through my NLP Training.

The good news is, if you have learned it, then you can unlearn it.  For many years I told myself “I don’t fit in”, if you keep telling yourself this, then like me, you won’t fit in anywhere.  So stop right now, don’t tell yourself this ever again.  You are listening to everything you say about yourself so ensure you tell yourself the good stuff like, “I am unique, special, and comfortable with who I am”.

No one fits in anywhere or needs to, we are all different, some people we get along with, others we don’t, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them or us, it just is what it is.

Think back to the time when you could have learned this mis-belief, it could have been after the imprint age, maybe you were bullied or picked on by your friends, siblings, maybe you heard a striking comment from your teachers, or even your parents, that lodged itself deep within your unconscious.

The next step is unlearning that belief, to start with stop comparing yourself to others, be happy being your unique self.  Stop saying to yourself and others “I don’t fit in”.  Every time you are about to think or say this, stop, shake yourself off, and  remind yourself that you don’t have to fit in anywhere, that you are special and unique just as everyone one else is.  Your unconscious mind believes everything you tell it to be something positive, something you want, so it is very important to start being aware of your self-talk and ensure it is working for you and not against you.

Keep practicing every day, it doesn’t take long to unlearn old behaviour that is not serving you well, but it does take practice

This is just the beginning, if you want to know more about how to overcome limiting beliefs and decisions that are holding you back, then visit my website for further information. http://www.vickifrench.com.

So my lovely unique reader, make a decision with yourself right now that being you is simply awesome!

Warmest wishes.

Vicki

 

 

 

New Year New You…

At the start of a new year its always cold, grey and dark outside but it doesn’t have to be the same inside.

If you have entered January with a doom and gloom feeling, that nothing will change, that it will be just the same as last year, that your life sucks.

Then stop right there and realise that you and only you have the power to make this year the best year you have ever had.  That may sound so ridiculous, and so far out of your reach right now, but wait there is more.

Think of one single thing in your life, that if you could, you would change right now.

Now imagine how you would feel if that change was to happen right now.

You are probably thinking, ‘yea it feels great, but it’s never going to happen, its impossible’.

What if it is possible?  What if I told you that thinking this way is a choice, that thinking this way is an easy option, that by choosing the easy option YOU are keeping yourself stuck.

Now see it differently, if it is you that is keeping your self stuck, then it is you that can get yourself unstuck. You have the power within to overcome anything that is holding you back.   If you believe that it is impossible then it will be.  If you believe you can do this then you will.

Make a decision with yourself right now, that you are going to get unstuck.  Ask yourself “How can this get even better?”.  As soon as you put this question out there, you are changing your energy flow, from ‘I am stuck here for ever’, to ‘I am ready for change’.

Nothing is impossible, it may be difficult, it will take time and effort, but you can do this.  As soon as you take action then it all begins.  Take the first step, then the second, then the third and so on.  It wont happen over night, but by breaking it down into small steps, you will see fast results that will keep you motivated and moving forward, you will feel energised and in control.

Once you look within and Unlock your Inner Power you can achieve anything you desire.

If you hate your job, don’t stay. But don’t just go and get another job, decide what you would love to do and then search for it and don’t give up until you find it.

If you are unhappy in your relationship, decide why and how you can improve it.  If you know for sure it is over, then end it.  Its bad enough to waste your time but to waste the time of your partner is even worse.  If you know deep down that its time to set you and your partner free then do it.

If you are overweight or unfit, make a decision right now to get more exercise and to eat healthily.  Diets are a short term answer.  You cant live on a diet for the rest of your life and generally once you come off it, the weight goes straight back on.  Instead, eat healthy food, cut out all the junk and eating between meals.  Start getting more exercise, walk more, use the stairs, small changes make a big difference. When you feel good about yourself, you will be motivated and energised.

You are where you are and how you are, because of you, no one or nothing else.

Once you realise the power you have within, you can change your life and be the person you were born to be.

So make a decision with yourself right now that 2016 is your year!