Can you remember a time when someone’s words or actions ruined your day or even your week? We have all had those moments when we got frustrated or angered by what someone said or did or annoyed because we didn’t get our anticipated response or were let down. Feeling offended will cause you to react in such a way that will make matters even worse.
The truth is whatever anyone says or does is out of your control, do you really want to waste your valuable time and energy on what is out of your control? Instead of blaming the way you feel on others’ imagine being impervious to other people’s disdainful words or actions. It is possible, and it doesn’t mean that you will be submissive or avoiding confrontation; it means that you retain your power and remain in control.
The first step is to not react. The next time you find yourself annoyed or angry, stop and take a moment. Assess why you feel this way, if it is yourself you are annoyed with then decide what action you need to take to improve the situation. This puts you back in control. If it is something that is out of your control then you have the choice to either ‘let it in’ or to ‘let it go’. If you react you have let it in and it is now your problem, however if you respond and let it go, you retain your power, your state of mind is calm you are back in control. You will find this very empowering.
The second step is to disassociate. Be the observer; see the event for what it is. This will give you clarity and will prevent your thoughts from running wild. It is important here to be aware that your thoughts on the situation are simply your interpretation; they are simply your own story, your point of view. Your internal representations will be biased and will influence your feelings and behavior. Just by taking the time to view the situation and your own thoughts on the situation, will allow the intensity of your feelings to lessen and for you to be more detached.
The third step is acceptance. Accept that what anyone says or does is out of your control; accept that you have the choice to remain in control. Accept that there is nothing to gain by letting it in other than a negative state of mind. Seeing the bigger picture and being the bigger person will allow you to accept it for what it is and not to succumb to it.
The final step is letting go. Now you are in a calm state of acceptance, you can simply make a conscious decision to ‘let it go’. Take three deep breathes and let it go. Now you are back in control, that person or thing no longer has power over you. You will feel calm and in control, notice how good it is to hold on to your power.
Remember the only thing you have total control over in this life is YOU, by holding on to hurt, pain or anger caused by something out of your control means you are giving away your power. Whatever it was is now in the past, don’t keep it alive in your head.
Start to practice this in your everyday life then when something big comes along you will be well versed in how to handle it.