Are you choosing to be the victim?

The mind has more power than you realise! Consider that your own thoughts are the result of how you feel right now.  How you feel right now is not due to that external event/happening, it is due to your thoughts about that external event/happening.

Lets assume you have just received notice that your bank balance is overdrawn.  Ok this is not good news but how you react to it will determine your mood.  Now you can choose to be angry, hurt, fearful or sad, or all four but this wont change anything.  Or you could choose to sit down and work out the best way to get through this.  The first option makes you the victim, the second option puts you in control.

By deciding to accept what has happened, to then put a plan of action in place, will allow you to keep positive and focused on moving forward.  So instead of reacting negatively, you are responding positively!

Think what expenses you can cut back on until payday. Maybe you could borrow some cash from family or a friend to balance your bank until payday. Consider your outgoing expenditure against your incoming and put a plan in place to not let this happen again.

No matter how bad a situation is, there is always a way out.  The important thing is, not to let your mind run wild with thoughts such as “why is this happening to me?”  This type of thinking makes you the victim.

Thoughts come before an emotion, so how you feel is down to your thoughts.  You will have millions of thoughts per day, some will be necessary and practical, however some will result in taking you to a state of mind that can sabotage your life.

So the next time someone does or says something to upset, annoy or anger you, answer these three questions before you do anything.

1. Is this important?

2. Will this bother me next week?

3. Do I really care?

If you answer  ‘no’ to all the above, then simply let it go.  Taking it on board will achieve nothing, other than you being in a bad state of mind.  Reacting will enable that person to see that they have power over you. You can’t control what anyone says or does, but you can control your mind and how you deal with everyday issues.

Instead of reacting, respond.  So instead of shouting and arguing, dismiss it with grace. Instead of taking it on board, let it go.

Your mind is a powerful tool, use it to your advantage.

If you would like to learn more about the Power Within then book your free 30 minute telephone break through session on how to Harness the Power Within.

Simply reply placing Free Breakthrough call on the Power Within in the comment box below.



2015 Is Your Year !

Unlock Your Inner Power

Did you know that 2015 is a great time to make changes, do the things you have been putting off,  reach that dream that is still just a dream, getting out of the job you hate, changing your location, quit smoking, re train, get fit, get slim, get rich etc.  So why is it that usually even before the end of January, those plans, goals, ideas and dreams are fading fast? Because they are  usually New Years Resolutions and they are known to fade fast. So forget the resolutions and instead make plans. Firstly you must change the ‘want’.  Ask yourself, do you just want it?  So often I hear people say “I want to start my own business” my question to them is “do you ‘want’ to start your own business or are you going to ‘have’ your own business?   See the difference here.  Wanting something, means you haven’t got it, when you reach out to the…

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Quitting is Easy !!!

I was a smoker for over 25 years and smoked around 20 a day, probably more when socialising.  I tied to quit several times because I knew it was bad for my health and each time I only lasted between three weeks to three months.  I also found I put on weight, which for me, was a good excuse to start again.

Having now stopped smoking for over three years ago I still can’t believe how easy it was!  The only thing that was different this time was my mind-set.     This time I stopped purely because I wanted to, not because I thought I should, or because it was the right thing to do, or to please anyone else.  This time I stopped for me, because I truly wanted it.  I didn’t have to prepare myself or psyche myself up for it or pick a date.  I decided to stop one morning in the garden whilst smoking my first cigarette of the day.   I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the patio window and saw the smoke coming from my mouth, I decided there and then that this would be my last cigarette, I took the last puff and said  out loud  “I will never smoke again”.     I knew from that minute that I was now a non smoker.  When my partner came home that evening, I told him, he laughed and asked “since when”?   I replied “I stopped this morning”.

There were times when I thought of a cigarette but I knew that this was just the nicotine in my bloodstream getting low and wanting a top up.  I also knew that soon the nicotine would be gone.    At stressful times when I would normally have a cigarette, I wondered how I ever came to believe that having a cigarette could help or change any situation.  I actually felt calmer for not smoking and this time I did not put on any weight.  There are smokers who are overweight so smoking is clearly not a slimming aid.   I realise now that the only reason I put on weight previously was because I felt deprived and therefore needed a substitute, which for me was food!  When you stop with the right mind-set there is no need for a substitute because you do not feel deprived in any way.  You have made a choice for you and you are in total control.

Some people say they don’t want to quit because they ‘enjoy it’.  What is there to enjoy? There is nothing enjoyable about breathing smoke into your lungs.  You don’t smoke because you enjoy it; you smoke because you are addicted.   Smoking will increase as time goes by because even more nicotine is required to maintain the level of satisfaction.

Many people use patches and other aids to help kick the habit, and if this works for you then great, however personally I  don’t see the  point, because  although they say nicotine is just as addictive as Heroin the actual withdrawal symptoms are zilch in comparison.

If you truly have a desire to stop you won’t need any help at all.  All you need is to make the choice.   You can achieve and conquer anything once you have the true desire to do so.

We are conditioned to believe that quitting is hard, that there are numerous withdrawal symptoms, that it will be so difficult you will need counseling or need nicotine patches to help you!  This is simply brain washing!  If this was true then you would need a patch on your arm every night to get you through the eight hours or so of sleep to the next morning!

Having now discovered NLP I realise I put myself in a new state of mind, the state of mind of a non smoker!  In the time it had taken me to smoke a cigarette I had changed my association with smoking

Smokers associate smoking with pleasure and quitting with pain.   When I saw myself in the window, I immediately associated smoking with disgust.  I didn’t have to quit I just stopped.

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