Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Countless people have grown up to believe that they are ‘not good enough’ this stays with them for years and years and affects their self-esteem and confidence through adulthood.

You were not born feeling ‘not good enough’, you have learned this along the way.  It is all because of what you heard as a child from friends, siblings, teachers and even parents.  What you heard is stored at an unconscious level and cultivates your adult behaviour.

Believing ‘you are not good enough’ can lead to anxiety, depression, social disorder etc.  These are all labels that define a certain behaviour, however they are not the cause of the problem they are the symptom of you feeling ‘not good enough’.

Do you hear yourself telling you, I don’t fit in, nobody likes me, I am different, I will never be as good as her/him, I can’t do this, he/she is better than me in every way, No one is ever going to love me, I am not good looking, I will never be slim, I am different, I will never have what I want.  Do you constantly repeat, “I lack confidence, I have low Self-Esteem”

The  root cause of your issue is self belief, no pill will solve it, no one else can solve it, only you can solve it.

You may think that sounds crazy, but trust me it is true.

You are listening to everything you say about you, your unconscious mind hears what you say and believes it to be what you want.

It all starts from within, you are not broken and therefore you do not need fixing.

Once you start to notice your self-talk and your self-language you will soon come to realise that you are self-sabotaging.

Becoming aware of your self-sabotaging thoughts and language will allow you to realise the damage you are creating, you can then replace with Self-Praising thoughts and Language that will allow you to discover the true you.

Start telling yourself a different story, tell yourself every day, “I am good enough” say it every time you look in the mirror, make a list of all of your skills and qualities, yes you do have them!

Don’t look external for approval, look within, if you love you, respect you, believe in you then you can turn your life around.

Tell yourself every day, I am confident, I love me, I am good enough, and I can achieve whatever I want. Repeat over and over, every time you hear a negative thought, stop and replace it with a positive.

Believe in you and everyone else will believe in you too.

We are all special and unique, don’t ever compare yourself to anyone, it is ok to admire someone and learn from them, but don’t compare yourself because you are special just the way you are.  Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror.

Your unconscious mind is listening and you will very soon see a difference in your whole persona, you will feel good about you, you will have self-belief, your self-esteem will rise and your confidence will hit the ceiling.  You can do this, it takes practice but it does not take long.

All the negative beliefs you have about you are simply someone else’s words from the past, it is not who you are, it is not who you were born to be.

YOU ARE SPECIAL AND UNIQUE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Build Your Self Esteem

You know all those negative remarks you have continuously heard all your life, something like,  ‘you are a total idiot’, ‘you are useless, ‘you can’t do anything right’, ‘you will never get anywhere in this life’, and so on and so on.   They are all stored at an unconscious level, and have become part of the makeup of your self- belief.

You may have been criticised negatively, but from endearment, for instance by your parents and siblings, they didn’t necessarily mean you any harm.  You could have had others criticise you negatively, to get a laugh at your expense, or from jealousy, fear, hurt, hate, guilt,  to name a few.

You started to believe all the negative comments you were hearing about yourself and with every negative remark you took on board, your self-esteem decreased.  You became more introverted and self conscious.  You even started to admit to yourself that you are ‘useless’ and an ‘idiot’ and’ can’t do anything right’.  You start to feel de-motivated and believe that you will never amount to much!

Well I have some good news that I am going to share with you!

You will hear criticism throughout your life, simply because you cannot determine or prevent what someone else is going to say or think about you, because this is out of your control.  The only thing in this world that you do have total control over is YOU!

From now on remember this phrase…

What anyone else thinks is none of my business”!

You had a choice and you chose to take the criticism on board.  There are some people that hear exactly the same stuff; however they choose not to believe it and to let it go, their self-esteem is intact. The only difference is they chose a different option.

You see, life is all about choices, you have control over you, no one else.  So make the choice right now, to let go of all those negative comments that you have been holding on to.  Make a promise to YOU right now that you will never again allow negative criticism ‘IN’ and that instead you will ‘LET IT GO’.

Start looking at yourself in a new fresh way, embrace all of your good points, your strengths, your gifts, your talents, love you and accept you.  Let go of all the negativity that has been holding you back; it is time to build your self-belief and to send your Self-Esteem shooting skywards.

It was  you who allowed it to be taken away and only you can bring it back.  Stop listening to that negative voice in your head; instead listen to the positive one that has been struggling for years to be heard.

Step 1. Let go of Negativity:

The next time someone criticises you negatively, visualise slamming the biggest heaviest wooden door and shutting it out!    If you get criticised, you don’t have to argue or fight, you just simply ‘let it go’.  You slam the door, and praise yourself.  Let go of those negative comments.  Remember, what anyone else thinks is none of your business.  Choose to remain positive; to see your value and to love you!

Step 2.   Increase your Self-Belief:

Remember the only thing you have total control over is you.  Don’t concern yourself with happenings that are out of your control.  If you judge yourself badly then you will project this, you must ensure that you remain positive.  Make a list of all of your attributes, your strengths, your talents.  Make a list and pin it up on a wall, read it every day.  Every time you hear your negative self-talk, slam that door shut and replace with positive self –talk.  Look in the mirror; stand tall, with your shoulders back, head high, look at you, and tell you  ‘I am unique, I am worthy and I am a good person’. The more positive you become the stronger you will become, the more you praise yourself, the more you will value yourself and the more motivated you will become.  When you love you, you will project this, and everyone else will see your worth too.

Step 3.  Take back control:

This doesn’t mean being passive or controlling your emotions to avoid confrontation. It means having a natural reflex that enables you to be the ‘greater person’ in tricky situations.  You see when you allow others’ to affect you; you are giving away your power to that person.  By believing in yourself and not allowing outside influences to affect you, you will hold on to your power, turn the other cheek and be the greater person.

Us human beings  are energy, we are one with the Universe.  When you feel good you generate good energy into the universe, when you concentrate on what you want you send ripples of positivity out into the universe and the universe will deliver.  Feel good, concentrate on what you want, dream big, believe in yourself and you will attract an abundant life.

 

 

Self Belief

Many factors affecting self confidence are beyond our control but we alone are responsible for our thoughts and our self talk.

We can sabotage our lives with negative thoughts and negative beliefs.  How often have you not done something because you lacked self belief?  Or because you were worried what people would think.

No body else can make you feel anything about yourself only you control your mind and the unconscious mind does not accept negatives and will therefore accept everything you tell it as a positive.

Think about what you tell yourself over and over.   If you constantly tell yourself you won’t succeed or that you are fat or that you are useless then this is what you project outwardly.

You were not born with a lack of self confidence and negative beliefs, it was something you learned along the way and therefore you can unlearn it.

It may take a little time and practice but you can learn to master positive beliefs just as well as you mastered  negative beliefs.

  • Begin with monitoring your self talk and replace negatives with positives.  When you feel you won’t succeed, tell yourself you will, if you want to be slim, tell yourself you are slim, if you feel useless tell yourself you are brilliant and can achieve anything you desire.   If you concentrate on what you don’t want then you will get more of what you don’t want.  The law of attraction is very powerful so concentrate on what you want!
  • Use affirmations such as “I am unique, brilliant, fit and intelligent and no one can take this away from me” –  look in the mirror and repeat last thing at night and first thing in the morning
  • You can never know what anyone else is thinking about you so why try to imagine what they are thinking.  If you want to imagine what someone is thinking, then imagine they are thinking how brilliant you are, how fit you are and how confident you are.
  • When ever self doubt creeps in imagine what you would tell someone else who was in the exact same position.
  • Try visualization exercises and anchor a positive state of mind; close your eyes and see yourself confident, calm and in control.  See and feel and hear everything around you. Make the vision brighter and panoramic and when it is at its peak then gently squeeze your right earlobe or touch a knuckle.  You can then use this pressure point as an anchor when ever you want to recreate this state of mind.  The more you do this, the more you’ll find that you’ll quite naturally start to become like the confident you in the visualization.

Only you control you and when you start to believe in you then others will too!