The problem isn’t depression…

…The problem is what is causing the Depression.  Depression is a label that is attached to people who are struggling to find anything good about their life. The word Depression is generic, and the drugs prescribed for it are not treating the root cause, they are masking it.

There is a reason for your depression, you didn’t just wake up one day depressed. You were not born depressed.  You maybe  struggling in some areas, or you may have past hurt and pain, or you may be lonely, there could be a number of reasons you are feeling like you are, the key is in discovering the root cause of your problem.  Sometimes it may have been going on for so long, that you can’t even remember a time where you felt good.

This is where Coaching can assist by allowing you to dig deep within, to discover the root cause. Once you discover the cause you can then start to undo and release all that is keeping you stuck. It will take time and effort, but it won’t take months.

NLP techniques work fast, on fears, phobias, anxiety, limiting beliefs and decisions.  You will start to climb out of that black hole step by step, you will move forward and start to discover your true self once again.  Once you realise and harness the power you hold within, you will then be able to take back control, because that is all that has happened….you have lost control of you.

Through coaching I have helped clients overcome depression, they have taken back control and have the tools with them to prevent them from ever sliding backwards.  If you are in this place then here are three key steps that will get you started on taking back control.

  • Become aware of your thoughts.  Thoughts come before the emotion, therefore however you feel is due to your thoughts.  A thought is just that, a thought and nothing more.  But when you allow self destructive thoughts to take control then this is self-sabotage.  So start to become aware of your thoughts, realise that you can let bad thoughts in or you can let them go, it is your choice. You alone have this power within, and once you make this power work for you, instead of against you. then you are taking back control. So start practising right now.  When you wake up tomorrow morning, become aware of your first thought.  If it is working against you, replace it with a thought that will work for you.  Practice this through out the day.  As soon as your mood drops, consider the thought that promoted that drop in mood and then decide how you can change that thought or if you should just simply let it go.
  • Look deep within, dig down deep and start to write up a list of all that is wrong in your life. Take time over this, keep the list around and add to it daily.  It may be difficult at first, but you know the answers, you can do this.  Once you have the list drawn up you can then prioritise them in order of importance.  Then take the number 1 issue and decide what needs to change to improve your life right now.  Can you alone make this change? Do you need to ask for help from family or friends?.  There is always an answer be open to finding it.  Take small steps, don’t look at the big picture, taking it step by step will allow you to slowly start taking back control.  Sometimes just little changes can make a big difference.  This takes effort and time but if you want to get out of that whole then make the time and effort and see how good it feels.
  • You may uncover past memories that are keeping you stuck. Now is the time to realise that they are just memories and that you and only you can put them to rest.  No matter how bad they are, they are now just memories and they are only  alive in your head.   Holding on to them is doing you no good, blaming others for anything, is doing you no good.  Make a decision with yourself that it is all in the past, you cant change it so you are going to finally let them go once and for all.

Now that you are ready to let go of the past memories complete this Releasing Exercise to ensure that they are gone for ever.

Sit quietly and close your eyes, gather the unwanted memories, feel and see where they are inside of you, they could be in your head, or your chest or your stomach, give them a colour and a shape.  Now when you are ready, take a huge deep breathe in and then blow out with full force, blowing those memories away, take another deep breath in and do the same and see those memories going up through the hemisphere and into space and dispersing into tiny dust particles.  Now breathe gently, taking in the colour blue, relax, feel good that you have let go of all that negativity.   As human beings we have so much power within, master that power and make it work for you, not against you.

Remember no one can make you feel anything unless you allow it!

If you would like to learn more, contact me below.

Warmest wishes.

Follow your heart…

When you know something is right, you know from within, you don’t have to seek advice or approval from others.  It feels right, it looks right and it sounds right, you simply feel so passionate about this decision that nothing could change your mind. You may choose to share your decision with others, simply to get their take on it, but any opposition will go right out the window.

What is happening here is that you are following your heart, you are tapping into your higher self, looking within and listening to your intuition, sometimes referred to as your gut instinct.

Many people have asked me how you can distinguish if it is your gut instinct or just impulsiveness. There is a difference, can you remember a time when you made a decision, but then you started to have doubts, questions popped up, such as ‘what if it isn’t right’?  or ‘What if it all goes wrong? you start to wonder if this is your gut telling you to ‘do it’ or is it warning you ‘not to do it’.  By now confusion reigns and you are not sure of anything, it all becomes a muddle in your head and  this can be very frustrating.

It is not always easy to tap into your higher self and to follow your heart, however  I have learned through my own struggles, that the key is in the questioning!.

Your gut instinct, your  higher self, your intuition, however your refer to it, comes from within, you know instantly, there is excitement, there is light, there is joy and there is a fire in your belly.  It only becomes confusing the minute you stop listening and start to question and doubt and let the ego take over.

Here is a very simple example…

You have purchased an item of clothing on line, it arrives, it is everything you expected, you try it on, you love it, it feels great, it looks great and you can’t wait to wear it.  There is no doubt in your mind at all, in fact you take the labels off right there and then, it is not being returned!

Now let’s assume the opposite scenario….

The package arrives, you open it, it looks slightly different to what  you expected, you try it on,  you are not sure,  you keep looking in the mirror at different angles, you are still not sure.  You then seek another’s opinion, “Hey what do you think of this?”  You get the reply “Yep great”.   You go back to the mirror, you are still not sure.  Then you go back to the person and ask  if they really like it and if it really suits you.

Now you see the difference….If you have to seek approval or advice then there is your answer!  As soon as you opened the package, you knew deep down it was not for you.  You tried talking yourself into it, but when that didn’t work, you still didn’t listen, you went looking for someone else to convince you!.

The above is a simple scenario, but use moments like this to become more aware of your higher self, practice tapping into your intuition, following your gut instinct.  This will enable you to make the right decisions for you, whether it be in relationships, jobs, buying a home or a car etc.  If you live from the heart, you will lead a satisfying, fulfilled and passionate life.

So start right now, the next time your intuition screams from within,  listen to it, notice how it feels, looks, sounds, notice where you feel it, learn to recognise it and harness it.

When I decided to become a Life Coach,  many people advised me against it, for various valid reasons, but  I didn’t listen because what anyone said didn’t matter to me, my mind was made up, I was following my heart and I have never looked back.

You hold within all the answers and all the resources you need.  Trust your intuition and you will discover the power within.

In the words of David Bowie, “When you know, you know you know!”

Are you choosing to be the victim?

The mind has more power than you realise! Consider that your own thoughts are the result of how you feel right now.  How you feel right now is not due to that external event/happening, it is due to your thoughts about that external event/happening.

Lets assume you have just received notice that your bank balance is overdrawn.  Ok this is not good news but how you react to it will determine your mood.  Now you can choose to be angry, hurt, fearful or sad, or all four but this wont change anything.  Or you could choose to sit down and work out the best way to get through this.  The first option makes you the victim, the second option puts you in control.

By deciding to accept what has happened, to then put a plan of action in place, will allow you to keep positive and focused on moving forward.  So instead of reacting negatively, you are responding positively!

Think what expenses you can cut back on until payday. Maybe you could borrow some cash from family or a friend to balance your bank until payday. Consider your outgoing expenditure against your incoming and put a plan in place to not let this happen again.

No matter how bad a situation is, there is always a way out.  The important thing is, not to let your mind run wild with thoughts such as “why is this happening to me?”  This type of thinking makes you the victim.

Thoughts come before an emotion, so how you feel is down to your thoughts.  You will have millions of thoughts per day, some will be necessary and practical, however some will result in taking you to a state of mind that can sabotage your life.

So the next time someone does or says something to upset, annoy or anger you, answer these three questions before you do anything.

1. Is this important?

2. Will this bother me next week?

3. Do I really care?

If you answer  ‘no’ to all the above, then simply let it go.  Taking it on board will achieve nothing, other than you being in a bad state of mind.  Reacting will enable that person to see that they have power over you. You can’t control what anyone says or does, but you can control your mind and how you deal with everyday issues.

Instead of reacting, respond.  So instead of shouting and arguing, dismiss it with grace. Instead of taking it on board, let it go.

Your mind is a powerful tool, use it to your advantage.

If you would like to learn more about the Power Within then book your free 30 minute telephone break through session on how to Harness the Power Within.

Simply reply placing Free Breakthrough call on the Power Within in the comment box below.

 

 

Discover your Future Freedom Now!

Did you know that you were born with a life purpose? That purpose is your talent, something that comes natural to you, that you are passionate about, that you never tire of, that if you were to earn a living from it, you would never work another day in your life.  Once you are living your true life purpose, you will find ultimate fulfilment and freedom.

Unfortunately, due to the rush and stress of everyday life, quite often that ‘purpose’ is pushed aside, sometimes it is buried so deep within that it is forgotten about. The good news is that although it may be buried deep inside, it will always be there, nagging at you, prodding you, begging you to give it life.  You may have this deep routed feeling that there is something more, something else that you should be doing.

Maybe you know exactly what your true purpose and passion is, but fear and doubt is keeping you from living it.  I know just how wonderful life is once you discover and live your true purpose so I now want to give as many people as possible the chance to discover and live their Future Freedom too.  To do so I am offering a free thirty minute  “Discover your Future Freedom”  Coaching Session.

 During this telephone session:

  • You’ll uncover hidden talents and gifts that have been buried deep inside for too long;
  • You’ll uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your self-belief and holding you back;
  • We’ll work together to create a crystal-clear vision of your future goal;
  • You’ll leave the session renewed, re-energized and inspired to finally move forward to your future freedom!

There is living and there is existing, choose to live your life right now!

Note : This offer is open for a limited period only.

 

FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION !!

If you feel that something is not quite right, or you don’t feel truly content with your life, then now is the time to take action and get back in control.  You may feel ‘stuck’ or even ‘lost’.   The longer this goes on the more of a struggle it becomes to see clearly, this can then impact on all areas of your life.

If the above sounds familiar then Coaching will work for you.  Coaching will enable you to look deeper, to discover exactly where the problem lies and how to put the appropriate changes in place.  It maybe that you know exactly what is wrong but you are choosing to avoid it for fear of the unknown.

Whether the problem lies within your relationship, your job or life in general, Coaching will bring you clarity and definition on exactly what needs to change to get you to where you want to be and  how to get there!

If you would like to take advantage of my free 30 minute telephone breakthrough session then send a reply stating ‘Free Breakthrough Session’ in the subject box below.

Live the life you love!

 

Values

We all have primary values but we seldom pay them any attention.  We have values in all areas,  Career, Relationship, Family, Fitness, Personal Growth, Spirituality, etc…  If you are not feeling good in any area of your life then it will more than likely be due to your values in that area not being met. Knowing your values, and their relative importance, is key to a happy and a healthy life.

Let’s take a look at job Values and let’s say for instance that your top 3 values in a job are, 1.  Progression, 2. Challenge and 3. Variety.  Now if your current job meets these top three values then you will be contented and fulfilled in your job, however if for instance there is no room for progression, you know the job in side out so there is no challenge and you do pretty much the same routine every day, so there is no variety, then you will find that you will not be happy in your job.  It is important to live by your values, as they are the core of who you are – and who you want to be.

In NLP we usually work with the top 8 Values, I have coached many clients who come to see me due to a feeling of being stuck or discontented and once we get to work on their Values, they are quickly able to see why they feel this way and they are then able to see what they need to do in order to rectify this.

If you feel that there is something wrong in any area of your life then start by looking into your values in this area.  List your top 8 Values, take your time on this, and juggle them around until you are 100% they are in order of importance, 1 being the top most important value.  To help ensure they are in the correct order ask yourself,  “If I could have number 1 but not have number 2 would that be ok”.   If the answer is yes, then you have that value in the correct position, but if the answer is no, then swap them around. Carry on asking questions accordingly, i.e. if I could have number 1, but not number 3, would that be ok? Then repeat with number 2 and follow through until that value has been compared to all the values below it. Then do the same with value number 3 and so on until you have completed all eight.

By doing this you will know for sure that your Values are in line of importance and then you can measure them against the area you are working on by either ticking or crossing.   If your top 4 values are ticked then you will be pretty much aligned and you may just need to make some smaller changes to get the lower values met, however if the top 4 values are crossed then this will signify that you need to make changes in order to be content.

By becoming more aware of the values in all areas of your life, will enable you to use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.

 

2015 Is Your Year !

Unlock Your Inner Power

Did you know that 2015 is a great time to make changes, do the things you have been putting off,  reach that dream that is still just a dream, getting out of the job you hate, changing your location, quit smoking, re train, get fit, get slim, get rich etc.  So why is it that usually even before the end of January, those plans, goals, ideas and dreams are fading fast? Because they are  usually New Years Resolutions and they are known to fade fast. So forget the resolutions and instead make plans. Firstly you must change the ‘want’.  Ask yourself, do you just want it?  So often I hear people say “I want to start my own business” my question to them is “do you ‘want’ to start your own business or are you going to ‘have’ your own business?   See the difference here.  Wanting something, means you haven’t got it, when you reach out to the…

View original post 245 more words

2015 Is Your Year !

Did you know that 2015 is a great time to make changes, do the things you have been putting off,  reach that dream that is still just a dream, getting out of the job you hate, changing your location, quit smoking, re train, get fit, get slim, get rich etc.  So why is it that usually even before the end of January, those plans, goals, ideas and dreams are fading fast? Because they are  usually New Years Resolutions and they are known to fade fast. So forget the resolutions and instead make plans.

Firstly you must change the ‘want’.  Ask yourself, do you just want it?  So often I hear people say “I want to start my own business” my question to them is “do you ‘want’ to start your own business or are you going to ‘have’ your own business?   See the difference here.  Wanting something, means you haven’t got it, when you reach out to the Universe you must be present and in the now and you must talk as if  you already have it.  So instead of, ” I want to be slim, I want to quit smoking, I want to be successful”, change that to “I will be slim, I will quit smoking, I will be successful, I will have my own business”.  Once you say this, you will see how the energy changes and how different and excited you feel. You can achieve what ever you desire, by having the right mind-set, and belief.  When you ‘want’ you are pretty much agreeing that you will never ‘have’.  

Don’t rely on anyone, don’t wait for anything, take action and make it happen, see your dream befall reality. You know what you want, so now visualise the out-come, and then set your short-term  goals, once you break it down into small steps, you will quickly see results and this will motivate you even more. Whilst going through this new transition always focus on ‘now’, do something every day towards your goal. Become aware of your inner state as you reach each milestone, how if feels, what is sounds like, what it looks like, learn new behaviours and thought patterns to accommodate your change of habit and this will ensure that the new way becomes the only way! You have within you, the power and all of the resources required to be the person you truly want to be! Happy 2015 !!

How to Build Your Self Esteem

You know all those negative remarks you have continuously heard all your life, something like,  ‘you are a total idiot’, ‘you are useless, ‘you can’t do anything right’, ‘you will never get anywhere in this life’, and so on and so on.   They are all stored at an unconscious level, and have become part of the makeup of your self- belief.

You may have been criticised negatively, but from endearment, for instance by your parents and siblings, they didn’t necessarily mean you any harm.  You could have had others criticise you negatively, to get a laugh at your expense, or from jealousy, fear, hurt, hate, guilt,  to name a few.

You started to believe all the negative comments you were hearing about yourself and with every negative remark you took on board, your self-esteem decreased.  You became more introverted and self conscious.  You even started to admit to yourself that you are ‘useless’ and an ‘idiot’ and’ can’t do anything right’.  You start to feel de-motivated and believe that you will never amount to much!

Well I have some good news that I am going to share with you!

You will hear criticism throughout your life, simply because you cannot determine or prevent what someone else is going to say or think about you, because this is out of your control.  The only thing in this world that you do have total control over is YOU!

From now on remember this phrase…

What anyone else thinks is none of my business”!

You had a choice and you chose to take the criticism on board.  There are some people that hear exactly the same stuff; however they choose not to believe it and to let it go, their self-esteem is intact. The only difference is they chose a different option.

You see, life is all about choices, you have control over you, no one else.  So make the choice right now, to let go of all those negative comments that you have been holding on to.  Make a promise to YOU right now that you will never again allow negative criticism ‘IN’ and that instead you will ‘LET IT GO’.

Start looking at yourself in a new fresh way, embrace all of your good points, your strengths, your gifts, your talents, love you and accept you.  Let go of all the negativity that has been holding you back; it is time to build your self-belief and to send your Self-Esteem shooting skywards.

It was  you who allowed it to be taken away and only you can bring it back.  Stop listening to that negative voice in your head; instead listen to the positive one that has been struggling for years to be heard.

Step 1. Let go of Negativity:

The next time someone criticises you negatively, visualise slamming the biggest heaviest wooden door and shutting it out!    If you get criticised, you don’t have to argue or fight, you just simply ‘let it go’.  You slam the door, and praise yourself.  Let go of those negative comments.  Remember, what anyone else thinks is none of your business.  Choose to remain positive; to see your value and to love you!

Step 2.   Increase your Self-Belief:

Remember the only thing you have total control over is you.  Don’t concern yourself with happenings that are out of your control.  If you judge yourself badly then you will project this, you must ensure that you remain positive.  Make a list of all of your attributes, your strengths, your talents.  Make a list and pin it up on a wall, read it every day.  Every time you hear your negative self-talk, slam that door shut and replace with positive self –talk.  Look in the mirror; stand tall, with your shoulders back, head high, look at you, and tell you  ‘I am unique, I am worthy and I am a good person’. The more positive you become the stronger you will become, the more you praise yourself, the more you will value yourself and the more motivated you will become.  When you love you, you will project this, and everyone else will see your worth too.

Step 3.  Take back control:

This doesn’t mean being passive or controlling your emotions to avoid confrontation. It means having a natural reflex that enables you to be the ‘greater person’ in tricky situations.  You see when you allow others’ to affect you; you are giving away your power to that person.  By believing in yourself and not allowing outside influences to affect you, you will hold on to your power, turn the other cheek and be the greater person.

Us human beings  are energy, we are one with the Universe.  When you feel good you generate good energy into the universe, when you concentrate on what you want you send ripples of positivity out into the universe and the universe will deliver.  Feel good, concentrate on what you want, dream big, believe in yourself and you will attract an abundant life.

 

 

Finding you!

 

It seems that a lot of people spend a great deal of their lives, searching for someone who will make them happy, complete their life and make them feel whole.  How many times have you heard someone refer to their partner as “My other half”?  So are they not whole with out that other person?

We all have a life to lead, but is the ultimate meaning to life to love, marry and have children.  There is so much more to life and it revolves around you, finding you, learning about you, learning about your qualities, your passions, your talents, and how to lead a fulfilling life.  Then, when someone does come into your life, you will enjoy getting to know them, enjoy learning about them and you will know if they are right for you and you may want to share a life with them, but they won’t become the sole purpose of ‘your life’.

The people who have found themselves and love themselves will not need someone in their life, they may want someone in their life, and this is the big difference.  Someone else cannot make you whole and happy.   Many people jump from relationship to relationship, looking for something they will never find, because what they are looking for is not out there.

If you are desperate to be in a relationship, once you do meet someone, you will be so focused on holding on to them; you won’t even notice or care if they are right for you. You will become obsessed and eventually end up pushing that person away, you will lose all rationale and when the relationship ends you will fall apart, and probably leap straight into another relationship.

On the other hand, the people who have found themselves, will be themselves in the relationship, they will still live their own life. If their relationship ends, they would feel the pain and be very sad, but it won’t take over their life, they will grieve and eventually move on, they won’t jump straight into another relationship, because they are still whole.

If you are single and desperate for someone in your life, ask yourself, What is missing within me? Do I love me? Have I achieved all that I want? Am I at peace within? Can someone else really give me what is missing?

These answers aren’t just on the surface, you will need to dig deep within and when you do, you will find the truth and then you will understand that no other person could ever give this to you.

If you are spending your valuable time and energy searching for happiness, stop right now!  Happiness is not out there, happiness is within.  We all have a life purpose and once you live this purpose, you will be fulfilled and at peace and no one will ever be able to take that away from you.  Once you are in this state, you will not be desperate for someone, you may like the idea of having someone special in your life, but not desperate, and when someone does come along, if they are not right, or it doesn’t last you will not be broken.

We are all individuals, we are all unique, we are all special beings with special gifts, and we are here to discover those gifts and to lead a fulfilled life.  If along this path you find someone to love then embrace it but don’t make your life path one of desperation for love.

Life is about finding you and loving you.  Stop doing and start being!