Overcoming Anxiety

Through your life there will have been times where you found yourself in situations where you have been nervous,  where you feel a little bit of fear rumbling inside, situations such as attending interviews, meeting new people, sitting exams, a driving test and many more.  Feeling a little apprehension and fear in certain situations is normal, however, you go ahead and soon the fear subsides. But what if that little bit of fear that is rumbling inside, does not subside, and soon becomes a volcano ready to explode, what do you do? How do you cope?

First of all, you need to understand that anxiety is not a condition that you were born with.   Anxiety is something that you alone are creating through your own thoughts.

If it all begins in your head, then you are in control of it, and if you are in control of it then you can overcome it.

When the body comes under stress, a message is sent to the brain and the body releases adrenaline into the bloodstream. This normal reaction stems from ‘caveman days’ when we were fighting for survival.   The nerves become more alert, preparing the body to fight or flee from the danger it is facing.  The heart rate increases, blood pressure rises and  breathing increases.  The mind becomes focused on the ‘danger’.   Nowa days you are not fighting off beasts for survival so how can you stop this fear from increasing to an anxiety attack.

Let’s assume you are going on a first date, you are getting ready, you  feel nervous,  you start to think about the person, you picture them in your head, you feel excited, you cant wait to meet them again,  you are all dressed up and ready to go, you feel good, you go out the door, you meet up and you have a great evening!

But what happens if before you get out of the door you start to have the “what if” thoughts.  This is where it all goes downhill and the little bit of  fear and excitment turns into anxiety.

You begin to play out scenarios in your head such as:

“What if he/she thinks I’m boring?”

“What if I can’t think of anything to say?”

“Whatif  he/she sees how nervous I am?”

“What if I start shaking?”

“What if we have nothing in common?”

“What if  he/she thinks I’m stupid?”

“What if he/she doesn’t want to see me again?”

What if this goes all wrong?”

“Oh god why did I do this”

By now the messages to the brain have the body preparing to fight off the biggest beast ever, you are sweating, breathing hard, shaking, heart pounding………..STOP you simply shout STOP in your head as loud as you can.  This stops all messages reaching the brain the pattern is stopped middway, the body stops reacting to the danger.  Now you start to tell yourself:

“Everything is ok”

“I am calm”

“I am confident”

“He/she will think I am great”

“This is going to be a great night”

You stop shaking, your breathing slows, your heart stops pounding, you cool down, and you take a big deep breath and blow all the fear away.

You created it and you dissolved it.

When ever a thought begins with ‘What if’, it is you worrying about a future event,  assuming an unpleasant out come, worrying about what could happen, but the truth is, you can never ever know what lies ahead,  so why waste that energy on worrying and bringing on anxiety.  The past is gone and you cant change it, the future is yet to be and you can never know what it holds, the only moment you truly have is now, enjoy it and embrace it and you will never suffer anxiety again.

You have the power within to take control of your thoughts, what you tell yourself over and over can have an immense affect on your life, ensure you are telling yourself the good stuff and not the bad stuff!

For more information see my website www.aaylifecoaching.com  its All About You!

Happy New You!!!

 The start of a New Year is a great time to make changes, do the things you have been putting off,  get out of the job you hate, change location, stop smoking, re train, get fit, get slim, get rich etc.  So why is it that usually even before the end of January, those plans, goals, ideas and dreams are fading fast?  

Firstly it’s not enough to just want something, usually what happens is that people look at the desired outcome, for instance “I want to be slim” or “I want to quit smoking” and this goal becomes so daunting and so far away that they quickly give up.

What you need to do is put a plan into place.  Visualise the out-come, then set your self short term goals, either weekly, bi weekly or monthly.  By doing this the out-come is not so overwhelming, plus when you reach each goal, you will feel a sense of achievement and be motivated to continue on to the next and the next and the next and pretty soon your overall goal is so much closer and no longer daunting.

 Whilst going through this new transition always focus on ‘now’, do something every day towards your goal. Become aware of your inner state as you reach each milestone, how if feels, what is sounds like, what it looks like, learn new behaviours and thought patterns to accommodate your change of habit and this will ensure that the new way becomes the only way!

You have within you, the power and all of the resources required to be the person you truly want to be!

Happy New You !!!