Do you feel stuck? Are you unsure of which direction you should take? Do you feel a little lost? If so, it could be due to internal blocks. Often we can unconsciously create patterns and beliefs in our mind that are not working for us and this can result in a belief that this is who we are and that we cannot change.
For instance, have you ever had a great idea, but you refrained from pursuing this due to worrying what others may think or say about you or do you frequently imagine what others are thinking about you? Do you continually look for external approval and compare yourself to others?
These negative patterns are mental blocks, they serve only one purpose, which is to keep you stuck and unable to move toward that brilliant idea. This is most likely because you fear what is on the other side of NOT being stuck.
When you find yourself being apprehensive and doubtful of doing or saying something because of what others will think, you are actually preventing yourself from achieving the most amazing possibilities, that deep down you know you are capable of. Always remember, it is better to regret doing something than to regret doing nothing.
Imagine if we all cared what people think, would anyone ever have the courage to do anything? You and only you have control over your thoughts and thinking. No one else has access to your mind, and you have no access to the minds of others so don’t assume you can mind read, you can’t.
If you resonate with any of the above then it is now time to remove these blocks, read on and discover how.
“What anyone thinks is none of my business”
This statement is very empowering and will enable you to be your authentic self. Start using this statement at moments when you start to doubt yourself, just saying
“What anyone thinks is none of my business” will create an inner shift that will allow you to simply let go and be comfortable in your own skin.
In reality, all that truly matters is what YOU say and think about YOU!
It is now time to tell yourself a different story, one that works for you and empowers you, that allows you to be in the driver’s seat, that allows you to truly believe in you.
Stop wasting valuable time and energy worrying about what people think. Whatever is right for you is all that matters, if it feels right then do it.
From now on every time you look in the mirror repeat the following:
I am good enough;
I am unique and special;
I will be the me I was born to be;
What anyone thinks is none of my business;
I can do this;
This is the new me.
If you don’t believe in you then no one else will. Believing in you will allow you to recognise your ability to set goals. Accomplishing these goals will keep you focused and optimistic about the future.
Avoid looking for external validation, instead look within; this is where all the answers are. It is ok to get feedback and guidance from external sources but at the end of the day it is your decision that truly counts.
Don’t let fear of failure keep you stuck, you will learn and grow from whatever you do, be it a success or not, therefore there is no failure?
Fear stands for False Evidence that Appears Real. It is the main thing that holds you back from believing in yourself.
You have the power within to turn your life around you can do this! Believe and make it happen, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
It is your time to shine !
So often through my coaching I hear people claim that they struggle to ‘fit in’.
I also felt this way many years ago, so I understand this from experience. Having studied Coaching and NLP, I now understand this in more depth and I thought I would share it with you.
Think about what ‘fitting in’ means to you. What is it that you feel is missing? How do you know you don’t fit it? How would you know if you did fit in? What would be different? How would you feel? What would you hear? What would you see?
The truth is, there is nowhere for you to ‘fit in’. There is no key that unlocks that special place for you. You are searching for something you will never find because there is no such place.
You see ‘not fitting in’, is something that you have created in your own mind, just as I did many years ago. I didn’t believe I fitted in at school, at work, in later years when I had children, I didn’t feel I fitted in with other Mums at the schools. When the befriended me and invited me out with them, I didn’t get why they wanted to be friends with me because in my head, I just didn’t fit in.
So there lies the key, it was all in my head! No one else thought I didn’t fit in, they liked me, they included me, in fact I didn’t really have any enemies, most people generally ‘liked me’. It was simply a belief, just as it is for you.
We are all unique, special, beings, we all have different needs, qualities, desires, talents, preferences and dreams, and so on and on. So why do some of us have this misbelief that we do not ‘fit in’, where did it come from.
In NLP there is a period between the ages of one to seven which we refer to as the imprint age. This is the period in life that we just absorb everything, we are like a sponge, we take in all that we hear, feel, smell, taste and it is embedded in our unconscious mind. In later years this transmits into our behaviour and beliefs. So somewhere way back in your child hood, you learned to believe that you ‘don’t fit in’, just as I did.
I remember when I was six years old, my mother insisted I had my hair cut short. I didn’t want it cut, I hated it so much that I dreaded going to school the next day. As you can probably imagine, I was laughed at and told I looked like a boy, amongst many other comments. Even the Teacher made a joke at my expense, when calling my name from the register, I raised my hand, she said “you’re not Vicki, where is she”. The whole class was looking at me and laughing aloud and I just wanted to run, run as far away from that school as I could. But of course I couldn’t, I had to stay, and put up with the finger pointing and laughing all day and even the next day. So that was where I decided that ‘I didn’t fit in’. Of course, I had forgotten all about this until it came to the surface during practice through my NLP Training.
The good news is, if you have learned it, then you can unlearn it. For many years I told myself “I don’t fit in”, if you keep telling yourself this, then like me, you won’t fit in anywhere. So stop right now, don’t tell yourself this ever again. You are listening to everything you say about yourself so ensure you tell yourself the good stuff like, “I am unique, special, and comfortable with who I am”.
No one fits in anywhere or needs to, we are all different, some people we get along with, others we don’t, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them or us, it just is what it is.
Think back to the time when you could have learned this mis-belief, it could have been after the imprint age, maybe you were bullied or picked on by your friends, siblings, maybe you heard a striking comment from your teachers, or even your parents, that lodged itself deep within your unconscious.
The next step is unlearning that belief, to start with stop comparing yourself to others, be happy being your unique self. Stop saying to yourself and others “I don’t fit in”. Every time you are about to think or say this, stop, shake yourself off, and remind yourself that you don’t have to fit in anywhere, that you are special and unique just as everyone one else is. Your unconscious mind believes everything you tell it to be something positive, something you want, so it is very important to start being aware of your self-talk and ensure it is working for you and not against you.
Keep practicing every day, it doesn’t take long to unlearn old behaviour that is not serving you well, but it does take practice
This is just the beginning, if you want to know more about how to overcome limiting beliefs and decisions that are holding you back, then visit my website for further information. http://www.vickifrench.com.
So my lovely unique reader, make a decision with yourself right now that being you is simply awesome!
If you feel that something is not quite right, or you don’t feel truly content with your life, then now is the time to take action and get back in control. You may feel ‘stuck’ or even ‘lost’. The longer this goes on the more of a struggle it becomes to see clearly, this can then impact on all areas of your life.
If the above sounds familiar then Coaching will work for you. Coaching will enable you to look deeper, to discover exactly where the problem lies and how to put the appropriate changes in place. It maybe that you know exactly what is wrong but you are choosing to avoid it for fear of the unknown.
Whether the problem lies within your relationship, your job or life in general, Coaching will bring you clarity and definition on exactly what needs to change to get you to where you want to be and how to get there!
If you would like to take advantage of my free 30 minute telephone breakthrough session then send a reply stating ‘Free Breakthrough Session’ in the subject box below.
Live the life you love!
Life is for living not for tolerating; if the above sounds familiar then it is time you realised that only you are in control of you, no one and nothing else. No one can make you feel anything unless you allow it, no one else can make you do something unless you let them. The only person responsible for your unhappy life is you! You can change the things that you are in control of to try and improve the situation, but sometimes you can’t change anything other than by moving on!
What usually happens is that people stay and continually moan and complain about their miserable life. How often have you thought of moving on and what stops you?
Some people see it as ‘walking away’ or ‘giving up’ this promotes feelings of guilt and angst and this is usually what prevents them from moving on.
Let’s reverse the situation. If your partner told you they had wanted to move on for the last year or so, how would you feel? If your boss told you he had never been impressed with your work how would you feel?
So, are you staying for them, or for you?
Consider your options, stay and be miserable or move on and be happy. If you are totally sure you have done all you can and you know you will be happier moving on then by staying you are doing no one any favours.
We all have fear of the unknown but it is what you do with that fear that will make a world of difference. You can never know what the future will bring so why fear something that may never happen? Stop that chatter of “what if”. This is you inventing a future.
The one question you do know the answer to is “What happens if I stay”?
Don’t ask others, look inside for the answer. Visualise yourself taking action, how does it feel? There is your answer. Once you take action, you will feel relieved, lighter and free. You will be motivated to make other changes, try new things; you will take back control of your life.
There will be times when doubt creeps in, and you wonder if you are doing the right thing, it is normal to first feel elated after making a major decision and to then question yourself. When this happens take your mind back to that moment when you took action, feel that initial elation and relief. You felt that way, because you knew you had done the right thing. Don’t ever lose site of that.
Concentrate on the future and on what you want. Don’t spend time dwelling on the past and what you don’t want. There will always be change through life, how you perceive those changes is what is important. Rather than see ‘endings’ see ‘new beginnings’, rather than see ‘walking away and giving up’ see completion.
One day you will sit back and wonder why you stayed in that place so long!