FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION !!

If you feel that something is not quite right, or you don’t feel truly content with your life, then now is the time to take action and get back in control.  You may feel ‘stuck’ or even ‘lost’.   The longer this goes on the more of a struggle it becomes to see clearly, this can then impact on all areas of your life.

If the above sounds familiar then Coaching will work for you.  Coaching will enable you to look deeper, to discover exactly where the problem lies and how to put the appropriate changes in place.  It maybe that you know exactly what is wrong but you are choosing to avoid it for fear of the unknown.

Whether the problem lies within your relationship, your job or life in general, Coaching will bring you clarity and definition on exactly what needs to change to get you to where you want to be and  how to get there!

If you would like to take advantage of my free 30 minute telephone breakthrough session then send a reply stating ‘Free Breakthrough Session’ in the subject box below.

Live the life you love!

 

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2015 Is Your Year !

Did you know that 2015 is a great time to make changes, do the things you have been putting off,  reach that dream that is still just a dream, getting out of the job you hate, changing your location, quit smoking, re train, get fit, get slim, get rich etc.  So why is it that usually even before the end of January, those plans, goals, ideas and dreams are fading fast? Because they are  usually New Years Resolutions and they are known to fade fast. So forget the resolutions and instead make plans.

Firstly you must change the ‘want’.  Ask yourself, do you just want it?  So often I hear people say “I want to start my own business” my question to them is “do you ‘want’ to start your own business or are you going to ‘have’ your own business?   See the difference here.  Wanting something, means you haven’t got it, when you reach out to the Universe you must be present and in the now and you must talk as if  you already have it.  So instead of, ” I want to be slim, I want to quit smoking, I want to be successful”, change that to “I will be slim, I will quit smoking, I will be successful, I will have my own business”.  Once you say this, you will see how the energy changes and how different and excited you feel. You can achieve what ever you desire, by having the right mind-set, and belief.  When you ‘want’ you are pretty much agreeing that you will never ‘have’.  

Don’t rely on anyone, don’t wait for anything, take action and make it happen, see your dream befall reality. You know what you want, so now visualise the out-come, and then set your short-term  goals, once you break it down into small steps, you will quickly see results and this will motivate you even more. Whilst going through this new transition always focus on ‘now’, do something every day towards your goal. Become aware of your inner state as you reach each milestone, how if feels, what is sounds like, what it looks like, learn new behaviours and thought patterns to accommodate your change of habit and this will ensure that the new way becomes the only way! You have within you, the power and all of the resources required to be the person you truly want to be! Happy 2015 !!

Self Talk and The Power Within!

Self Talk and the Power Within.

As we go through our day we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. That voice in side our head seems to determine how we perceive every situation. In NLP we refer to this inner voice as our ‘Self – Talk’ this includes our conscious thoughts and our unconscious assumptions and beliefs.

Practical self-talk is essential and does not cause any problems. However it’s the negative self-talk that can take us down into a big black whole, these thoughts can be unrealistic or self-defeating, such as ‘I’m going to fail for sure’, or ‘I am useless at everything”.

If you are suffering depression or anxiety it is likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s very important to become aware of your self-talk, and to then realise that you have the power to change the way you feel by changing your self-talk.

When we are worried and concerned we are usually either thinking back to the past or projecting into the future. The past is gone, you can’t change it, so don’t dwell on it, regrets are a waste of energy. The future you can never ever know, so why waste all that time playing out scenarios that may never happen. The only true moment we have is ‘NOW’ and right now we have all the resources we need and we will act accordingly. This is why in an emergency people take action they don’t worry and procrastinate, they are in the NOW.

Once you realise just how much control you truly have you will be able to turn your life around, to overcome moments of doubt, fear and procrastination. You will no longer allow outside influences to have a detrimental effect on your wellbeing.

You can challenge and change your self-talk. You can change the negative aspects of your thinking by challenging the irrational parts and replacing with more reasonable thoughts.
It doesn’t happen overnight but with practice, you will learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about situations in a more realistic and positive way.

Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your trigger to take a step back and become aware of your thoughts, what is it you are telling yourself over and over?

Sometimes we can over react to a situation; we can become irrational, and jump to the wrong conclusions. When this happens it is useful to test the accuracy of your perceptions. To do this, first see the situation associated, so through your own eyes. Then see it as the other person, dissociated and then as a fly on the wall. This will enable you to see if your interpretations are factual or if you are jumping to conclusions. Consider that had you been more positive, would you have perceived the situation differently. Also consider if there are any alternative ways to view the situation. Ask yourself ‘is it as bad as you think it is’? ‘Is there anything good about the situation’? ‘Will it really matter this time next week or in a couple of months’?

Because you feel anxious, depressed or stressed, your self-talk is likely to be extreme, and you are likely to focus on the most negative aspects of your situation. Step away and consider what your thoughts are achieving, consider if you have any control over the situation, and if so what can you do to help change it.

Remember there is no failure, only feedback, so think about what you have learned from this situation in order to ensure that next time, you do things differently.
By becoming aware of your thoughts and monitoring your self-talk, you are taking back control. This gives you the power to choose what you let in and how you deal with it. You choose your state, you control ‘you’ and no one will ever be able to take that away, unless you allow it.

Instead of “why” try “how”. So instead of “why did this happen to me” replace with “How can I change this”

You and only you have the power within to change your life!

Take the Reins and Make the Change!

Through coaching I see many people who are staying in a place that brings them no pleasure, they feel trapped and spend their lives just going through the motions? For some it is their job, they dread Mondays and long for the weekends. For others it is their relationship, they know what to expect every evening and every weekend? All these people are waiting for something to happen, instead of making something happen.

Life is for living not for tolerating; if the above sounds familiar then it is time you realised that only you are in control of you, no one and nothing else. No one can make you feel anything unless you allow it, no one else can make you do something unless you let them. The only person responsible for your unhappy life is you! You can change the things that you are in control of to try and improve the situation, but sometimes you can’t change anything other than by moving on!

What usually happens is that people stay and continually moan and complain about their miserable life. How often have you thought of moving on and what stops you?

Some people see it as ‘walking away’ or ‘giving up’ this promotes feelings of guilt and angst and this is usually what prevents them from moving on.

Let’s reverse the situation. If your partner told you they had wanted to move on for the last year or so, how would you feel? If your boss told you he had never been impressed with your work how would you feel?

So, are you staying for them, or for you?

Consider your options, stay and be miserable or move on and be happy. If you are totally sure you have done all you can and you know you will be happier moving on then by staying you are doing no one any favours.

We all have fear of the unknown but it is what you do with that fear that will make a world of difference. You can never know what the future will bring so why fear something that may never happen? Stop that chatter of “what if”. This is you inventing a future.

The one question you do know the answer to is “What happens if I stay”?

Don’t ask others, look inside for the answer. Visualise yourself taking action, how does it feel? There is your answer. Once you take action, you will feel relieved, lighter and free. You will be motivated to make other changes, try new things; you will take back control of your life.

There will be times when doubt creeps in, and you wonder if you are doing the right thing, it is normal to first feel elated after making a major decision and to then question yourself. When this happens take your mind back to that moment when you took action, feel that initial elation and relief. You felt that way, because you knew you had done the right thing. Don’t ever lose site of that.

Concentrate on the future and on what you want. Don’t spend time dwelling on the past and what you don’t want. There will always be change through life, how you perceive those changes is what is important. Rather than see ‘endings’ see ‘new beginnings’, rather than see ‘walking away and giving up’ see completion.

One day you will sit back and wonder why you stayed in that place so long!

Spring Coaching Offer !!!

Its spring, the time of year for clearing out the old and starting a new!  The garden comes to life, the spring cleaning begins!

Are you thinking about making changes in your life but not sure where to begin? Or are you thinking it’s time to change the behaviour that is repeatedly holding you back?  Or maybe its time you just focused on you, your needs and your desires.  What ever you would like to work on,  coaching will provide fast and effective results.  So take advantage of my Spring Offer.  From now until the end of April  20% discount on all coaching sessions.

Live the Life you Love and Love the Life you Live!

Email to vicki@aaylifecoaching.com for further info.