Self Talk and the Power Within.
As we go through our day we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. That voice in side our head seems to determine how we perceive every situation. In NLP we refer to this inner voice as our ‘Self – Talk’ this includes our conscious thoughts and our unconscious assumptions and beliefs.
Practical self-talk is essential and does not cause any problems. However it’s the negative self-talk that can take us down into a big black whole, these thoughts can be unrealistic or self-defeating, such as ‘I’m going to fail for sure’, or ‘I am useless at everything”.
If you are suffering depression or anxiety it is likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s very important to become aware of your self-talk, and to then realise that you have the power to change the way you feel by changing your self-talk.
When we are worried and concerned we are usually either thinking back to the past or projecting into the future. The past is gone, you can’t change it, so don’t dwell on it, regrets are a waste of energy. The future you can never ever know, so why waste all that time playing out scenarios that may never happen. The only true moment we have is ‘NOW’ and right now we have all the resources we need and we will act accordingly. This is why in an emergency people take action they don’t worry and procrastinate, they are in the NOW.
Once you realise just how much control you truly have you will be able to turn your life around, to overcome moments of doubt, fear and procrastination. You will no longer allow outside influences to have a detrimental effect on your wellbeing.
You can challenge and change your self-talk. You can change the negative aspects of your thinking by challenging the irrational parts and replacing with more reasonable thoughts.
It doesn’t happen overnight but with practice, you will learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about situations in a more realistic and positive way.
Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your trigger to take a step back and become aware of your thoughts, what is it you are telling yourself over and over?
Sometimes we can over react to a situation; we can become irrational, and jump to the wrong conclusions. When this happens it is useful to test the accuracy of your perceptions. To do this, first see the situation associated, so through your own eyes. Then see it as the other person, dissociated and then as a fly on the wall. This will enable you to see if your interpretations are factual or if you are jumping to conclusions. Consider that had you been more positive, would you have perceived the situation differently. Also consider if there are any alternative ways to view the situation. Ask yourself ‘is it as bad as you think it is’? ‘Is there anything good about the situation’? ‘Will it really matter this time next week or in a couple of months’?
Because you feel anxious, depressed or stressed, your self-talk is likely to be extreme, and you are likely to focus on the most negative aspects of your situation. Step away and consider what your thoughts are achieving, consider if you have any control over the situation, and if so what can you do to help change it.
Remember there is no failure, only feedback, so think about what you have learned from this situation in order to ensure that next time, you do things differently.
By becoming aware of your thoughts and monitoring your self-talk, you are taking back control. This gives you the power to choose what you let in and how you deal with it. You choose your state, you control ‘you’ and no one will ever be able to take that away, unless you allow it.
Instead of “why” try “how”. So instead of “why did this happen to me” replace with “How can I change this”
You and only you have the power within to change your life!